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Fred the Slime Mold

Vital Statistics

First Appearance: Fooker's Apartment (Non-speaking; December 2, 1998), Fred the Slime Mold (Speaking; January 18, 1999)

Full Name: Fred

Known Aliases: Dr. Fredrick Physarum

Status: Alive

Species: Sentient slime mold

Gender: Neuter, but assumes a mostly male personae

Volume: Varies, usually approximately 0.13 ft3 (3.79 L)

Weight: 3 lb (1.36 kg)

Cytoplasm: Generally green, but occasionally varies with strong emotions

Distinguishing Characteristics: Abrasive personality, superiority complex, crassly sarcastic, cilia covering most of his surface area

Marital Status: Single

Character Description

Fred started out as a running joke in a story where Fooker takes Nick to his apartment and finds a bizarre world where the cesspool of his living space has gained life. But Fred returned, was given a name, and has since become one of the fan faves. This wisecracking, oozing, PBS-loving sack of protoplasm has become a staple main character, and constantly reminds us that Fooker's life is always interesting.

Fred gained sentience floating in the squalor of Fooker's apartment. Since then, he has grown exponentially in intelligence, and continues to do so. Surprisingly, he doesn't let that go to his... er, nucelus; while several fans have expressed interest in watching Fred try to conquer the world, I personally don't think he'd find an interest in that. "Sure, I have the ability," he'd say, "but who wants to rule a world as messed up as this one?" Instead, he somehow seems content squirming in the filth that spawned him, soaking in every drop of information he can squeeze from TV and the Internet.

Fred has quite a few interesting credits to his name in the short span of his sentient life. He briefly posed as Dr. Fredrick Physarum, a literature professor at a major online university, until he lost that position when the school discovered he had falsified his credentials. (How else did you expect him to pay his half of the rent?) He also gave birth to another slime mold named Persephone, after the Greek goddess of the Underworld. Not bad for a green sack of goo....

Following the events of Surreptitious Machinations (during which he spent most of his time locked in a forensics laboratory), Fred and Persephone moved in with Nick when Fooker left GPF Software to pursue his secret agent duties full time. After Fred lost his job with the university, he was saved when Dwayne hired him as GPF's new tech support operator. Sadly, this brought Fred head to head with Trent, whose pranks snowballed into a nasty libel lawsuit. With the help of Nicole, Fred eventually persevered, althought it cost him his anonymity. This blossomed—well, more like exploded—into a whirlwind frenzy of celebrity filled with all the glamor and paparazzi associated with it. Fred rode the waves his new-found public fame for a time, making a living from public appearances and from his highly trafficked blog. When his celebrity status began to decline, he turned to desperate measures to remain in the public eye, including a highly controversial appearance on the television series Dancing with the Stars. Having since fallen back into relative obscurity, Fred has returned to GPF, once more working in customer support.

Although he largely sat out on the events of To Thine Own Self..., that epic did cast doubts about his possible origins. Could Fred possibly be an alien? Many Faulties seem to speculate so. And who is this mysterious "Socrates" that so desperately wants to contact him? What caused Fred and Fooker to have a falling out? Apparently, only time will tell.

Selected Milestones


Group Affiliations

  • An unnamed online university: Former literature professor
  • GPF Software: Former employee, Telephone Tech Support

Miscellaneous Notes

Version 3.12

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K? w-- O- M- V- PS-- PE++ Y-- PGP-- t- 5- X- R? tv+++ b++++
DI+(++) D++ G-- e-->+++++ h-(++) !z

(ungeek this Geek Code courtesy of the Geek Code Decoder Page)