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Vital Statistics

First Appearance: Surreptitious Machinations (Prologue: Rhymes and Ruminations) (November 16, 2001)

Full Name: Socrates

Known Aliases: None

Status: Alive

Species: Physaric

Gender: Neuter, but assumes a mostly male personae

Volume: Varies, usually approximately 0.13 ft3 (3.79 L)

Weight: 3 lb (1.36 kg)

Cytoplasm: Generally orange, but occasionally varies with strong emotions

Distinguishing Characteristics: Persistent, loyal, cilia covering most of his surface area

Marital Status: Single

Character Description

Future Socrates

Socrates made his initial appearance during the prologue to Surreptitious Machinations, in the grim alternate future ruled by Empress Trudy. Socrates appeared to operate as an assistant to Prof. Wisebottom and was involved in the resistance against the Empress, helping the Professor send young Todd back into the past. Unfortunately, Socrates was executed by the Empress herself, blasted into splattered gobs of sizzling goo before we could learn much else about him. At the time it was assumed that since we only knew of two other "sentient slime molds" (Fred and Persephone), Socrates was likely an offspring of one or both of them.

Present Socrates

Surprisingly, Socrates quickly resurfaced in the "correct" or "current" time line. In the aftermath of Trent's lawsuit against Fred, Fred received a mysterious phone call from none other than Socrates himself. Socrates continued to periodically hound Fred over the years, trying to contact him by various methods. Unaware of any connection between them, Fred either rudely hung up on Socrates, ignored his calls altogether, or later let his "handlers" screen his calls during his rise to fame.

Once Fred's fame diminished and he no longer had the benefit of "handlers" to help him, Socrates' phone calls resumed. Eventually, Patty was able to use Caller ID to trace Socrates' calls to a local number. During the events of Scylla and Charybdis, Patty, Dexter, and Trish went with Fred to confront Socrates, tracking him down to a local abandoned junk yard. There they discovered that Socrates was a "slime mold" just like Fred. It was here that Socrates revealed his (and Fred's) true origin: both of them were aliens who crash-landed on Earth after their "ship" was shot down by an enemy vessel. Socrates was assigned to protect Fred, who was revealed to be an experiment in genetic engineering in the hope that his unique genes could cure the "curse" afflicting their species. Separated after ejecting from their ship, Fred and Socrates ended up on opposite sides of North America. While Fred was still formative and had no memories of his past, Socrates retained his memories and struggled to find his missing shipmate. When Fred and Trent's lawsuit made national news, Socrates quickly sought to reunite with Fred, constantly trying to contact him while slowly making his way across the continent.

With the events of Scylla and Charybdis behind them, Socrates elected to stay behind with Fred, who was uncomfortable with returning to his home world since Earth was the only home he ever knew. Both Fred and Socrates decided to keep Fred's cure a secret from the Syncytium, claiming that the genetic experiment failed and Fred could not cure any of the "tainted". They also elected to keep Persephone's existence a secret, lest the Physarics decide to pursue her to obtain the cure.

Selected Milestones


  • Like all Physarics, Socrates is genetically linked with the rest of his kind. However, we don't know of any specific Physarics that would be his "parent" or "children".

Group Affiliations

  • The Physarics, although he decided to remain behind to assist Fred

Miscellaneous Notes

Socrates is named after the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates. Assuming that he chose this name for himself, we don't know yet what reasons he may have had in choosing it.