Transcription

Dex: Welcome back to GPF Conspiracy Central: I'm Dexter. Tonight's expose: "Dwayne: Friend or foe?"

Dex: It has long been theorized by our viewers that TRUDY is the end-all source of evil in this strip. I, however, propose it is DWAYNE, not Trudy, who seeks the cast's undoing.

Dex: Lurking behind that friendly facade is a cold, calculating, manipulative control freak, jealous of the rest of the cast's air time! (Details after this word from our sponsor!)
[[background: picture of a sketch of Dwayne with evil grin, holding lots of cash, and a caption, "Artist's rendition"]]