Transcription

Nicole: Okay, okay...maybe I'm a sucker for hopeless causes. But I STILL feel like a chihuahua defending a mouse from a tiger.
Fred: You remind me more of a pomeranian...

Nicole: Sigh...But that STILL doesn't solidify our defense. We have to clearly establish that your statements in these forum logs are NOT libelous defamatory remarks.
[[Nicole holds up a stack of forum transcriptions]]
Fred: Sounds simple enough.

Nicole: [[Looking over the transcriptions]] First of all, some of this is obviously hyperbole. I think it's safe to say it's physically impossible for Trent to... um, do what you said here.
Fred: Well, his nose IS pretty long.

Nicole: Second, most of this can easily be dismissed as opinion. Criticism, be it fair or not, is NOT defamation.
Fred: [[Reading from transcriptions]] Huh. I thought it was a well known FACT he buys hair gel by the tanker truck...

Nicole: But there are several statements you express as facts, and since this was a public blog, you can't claim absolute or qualified privilege. Can you prove these facts are true?
[[Nicole holds up the transcriptions for Fred to see]]
Fred: Absolutely.

Nicole: "'Brent' is a homicidal maniac, whose bloodlust is as insatiable as the appetite of his ego"?
[[Fred waves protoplasmic fists]]
Fred: HE TRIED TO BLEACH ME!