Transcription

Jury foreman: We the Jury decide in favor of the defendant. His remarks were not libelous, as the plaintiff was indeed charged with attempted murder.
Judge: ORDER! We're not done yet!

Judge: Mr. Terrell, as the losing party, I am hereby issuing a restraining order forbidding you to have any further contact with the defendant. I'm also ordering a criminal investigation into your attempted murder.

Trent: B-but double jeopardy!
Judge: You were tried and convicted of ONE incident, but NOT the attempts on the defendant's life.

Judge: As for YOU, you committed fraud in order to obtain employment. Since you were undoubtedly... spawned in the United States, you aren't an illegal alien, but you are eligible for U.S. citizenship.

Judge: So I'm giving you 30 days to apply for valid citizenship rights. If you complete these steps, this court will not investigate you or your employer concerning your work status.

Judge: As for me, I need a stiff drink and a LONG vacation. If anyone needs me, I'll be in Tahiti. Court adjourned.