Transcription

Charles Wellington: So how is our resident celebrity?
Fred: Not bad, Chuck. I'm definitely keeping busy.

Linda Wellington: We saw you on Leno the other night. It seems you've been getting around...
Fred: Oh, I'm hoppin'. The hard part is avoiding the Jerry Springers to catch the Larry Kings.

Fred: Now that I have fame, it's time to put it to good use. I want to spread my unique brand of earthy wisdom, not squander my fifteen minutes on tack sensationalism. I... hold on a minute.
[[Fred's cell phone buzzes]] <<BZZT>>

Fred: [Flipping open his phone] Blast it! I knew I should never have given Oprah my cell number! She probably gained another pound and wants me to reassure her it's okay on national television...