Transcription

[[Nega-Nick, masquerading as "our" Nick, has taken up residence in an easy chair, a box of tissues next to him and his notebook on his lap in front of him. Ki is walking in behind him, ready to leave for work.]]
Ki: OK, I called the doctor's office and you have an appointment at one. Don't forget it.
Nega-Nick: Yes'um.

[[Ki leans down to kiss "Nick".]]
Nega-Nick: Hey, I'm contagioush.
Ki: You're my husband and I still love you, even if I'm frustrated with you.

Ki: [heading for the door, her back toward Nega-Nick] Doctor at one. Otherwise, I don't want you off that couch.
Nega-Nick: Got it. Even iff I gotta pee. Expeck a puddle when you get back.

[[The door slams closed, and the alien controlling Nega-Nick starts speaking to him inside his head.]]
<<SLAM>>
Alien: That was... easier than expected.
Nega-Nick: [thinking, while smiling evilly] And that's what the black pepper was for...