Mister Inertia
Vital Statistics
First Appearance: Surreptitious Machinations (Chapter 8: Wars and Confrontations) (July 26, 2002)
Full Name: Wong Li (the original human upon which the "Inertia mech" was based)
Known Aliases: "Mister Inertia"
Status: Operational but damaged, aboard a Grey mothership
Species: Mechanical transport masquerading as a human
Gender: Not applicable (appears male)
Height: Unknown, approximately 10-12' (304.8-365.76 cm)
Weight: Unknown, approximately 1000 lb (453.59 kg)
Hair: Bald, "mustache" and "beard" are black
Distinguishing Characteristics: Massive size, apparently superhuman strength, mute
Marital Status: Not applicable
Character Description
One of GPF's greatest mysteries is the enigmatic "Mister Inertia", a massive mountain of a man who first appeared as C.R.U.D.E.'s tactical and military expert. For the longest time we have known next to nothing about him, aside from his massive size and his inability (or unwillingness) to speak. In hand-to-hand combat, his was virtually unstoppable... except, apparently, when confronted by programmers of sufficient girth. He was defeated by Dexter at the Battle of Manhattan and incarcerated by the U.G.A. in a top-secret prison hidden in the mountains near Big Stick, West Virgnia.
Inertia was a constant enigma to his captors. He refused to speak, and indeed he made no recorded statements during his incarceration. He barely ate or moved, and all medical tests performed on him had to be passive since no needle could break his skin. Moldfinger, his former C.R.U.D.E. colleague, passed on a warning that Inertia "is not everything he appears". Fooker's brother and successor to the "James Baud" mantle, Justin Barker, became obsessed with Inertia, concentrating on little else.
But what remained a mystery to everyone else was eventually revealed to us who observe: "Inertia" is indeed not what he appears to be. While the U.G.A. agents slumbered, two familiar faces emerged from a hidden panel in the man's massive back. It turns out "Inertia" is not human after all, but a construct—a "mech"— built by the Greys. Left behind for "bungling" several previous missions, Grey drones #3141592 and #6626068 became suddenly relevant when their "Inertia" mech was captured by the U.G.A. Their incarceration became a prime spying opportunity when the U.G.A. apparently discovered evidence that the Greys' archenemies were planning to invade Earth. During the day, the pair remained inside "Inertia", emerging at night to hack into the U.G.A.'s computers and gather intelligence.
After Justin and Maddie O'Hara became suspicious of Colonel Barker's "screenings" of U.G.A. agents, Justin and Agent #18 accidentally discovered Drones #3141592 and #6626068 attempting to contact their mothership. The Greys overpowered the two agents, knocking Agent #18 unconscious and warning Justin "your base is compromised and your planet invaded. You can trust no one here now. If you want to live, you'd better come with us." The Greys led Justin to Inertia's cell, where they used the giant mech to escape from the compound and from their enemy's clutches. Justin eventually led them to Fooker's apartment, where they chronicled the events that brought them there. Fearing they were followed and may soon be discovered, #3141592 signaled the Grey mothership, which beamed the drones, Fooker, Justin, and Sharon into space.
During their discussion of the history of the Grey/Physaric war, the Great Skaboola revealed that "Mister Inertia" was, in fact, a real human named Wong Li, who by coincidence was a founding member of the criminal organization C.R.U.D.E. Li was randomly selected to be part of the Greys' study into human mating habits and, during the course of his experiments, died. (However, as Drone #6626068 pointed out, "He died happy!") When they learned of Li's prominence within C.R.U.D.E., the Greys built the Inertia mech to spy on the organization and "learn more about your laws and their enforcement", inadvertently getting caught up in the events of Surreptitious Machinations. The Greys "allowed" Inertia to be captured by the U.G.A. as a means of spying on the second organization as well.
Presumably, the Inertia mech still exists aboard the Grey ship, although it was damaged during the escape from the U.G.A. prison and partially cannibalized by #3141592 to contact the mothership. Now that it's purpose has been fulfilled, it is presumably deactivated and has been placed into storage.
Selected Milestones
- Dr. Nefarious' first mention of Inertia when Trudy joins C.R.U.D.E.
- Inertia first barrels onto the scene at the Battle of Manhattan
- The mystery deepens: who really knows Mister Inertia?
- "Inertia"'s great secret is finally revealled
Relationships
- Not applicable