Moldfinger

Vital Statistics

First Appearance: Secret Agent Geek (August 19, 2000)

Full Name: Sir Thomas Sean Connery

Known Aliases: "Moldfinger"

Status: Alive

Species: Human

Gender: Male

Height: 6' 2" (182.88 cm)

Weight: 165 lb (74.843 kg)

Hair: White (possible toupee?)

Distinguishing Characteristics: Academy Award winning Scottish actor; "Sexiest Man of the Century"; secret criminal mastermind

Marital Status: Married

Character Description

Not only is he one of the best actors in Hollywood, but he's also a criminal mastermind! Who would have thought?! When Nick and Ki discovered that Fooker was really a secret agent, the trio plunged into a world of mystery, mayhem, and downright silliness as they attempted to track down the nefarious "Moldfinger," who turned out to be none other than Sean Connery, the legendary actor who first portrayed super-spy James Bond, planning to conquer the world through subliminal messages hidden in his films. Although our heroes escaped Moldfinger's death trap, the super villain is technically still at large. It is now confirmed that he is one of the founding members of C.R.U.D.E. (the Commune of Really Unscrupulous and Diabolical Evildoers), and for some reason harbors a personal grudge against our very own evil marketing chick. He led C.R.U.D.E.'s ground forces during the Battle of Manhattan (see Surreptitious Machinations, Chapter 8: Wars and Confrontations), but was forced to retreat. His current whereabouts are unknown, although it has been confirmed that he has retired from both acting and evil-doing and now only seeks the privacy of solitude.

Selected Milestones

Relationships

None known

Group Affiliations

C.R.U.D.E., founding member, retired

Miscellaneous Notes

Jeff thought it would be hilarious for Fooker's James Bond parody to match wits against the legendary first Bond himself, which was one reason he initially cast Mr. Connery into the role of Moldfinger. This was also a personal in-joke with his wife, playing off this inspired-by-real-life joke, which was expanded further throughout "Secret Agent Geek". Casting Sir Sean also served as the inspiration for casting Patrick Stewart in the role of "Amadeus", Fooker's U.G.A. superior, mostly as a long setup for this joke. That said, Jeff eventually decided to "retire" both "Moldfinger" and "Amadeus", as the joke had run its course and ran the risk of drawing unwanted attention from the repeated use of both famous likenesses. Jeff hopes that should Sir Sean and Sir Patrick ever play a round of golf together, they can have a good laugh at all this as well and politely refrain from suing him.